How do we choose who gets to hurt us?
We all have had that one relationship be it a Friend or a Boy\girl friend, that even from which we are over, we just can’t seem to forget it.
People often it’s better to forgive and forget, we might even be able to forgive , but then that should make us forget it easily? no? But somehow , we don’t. Even when we move on the lesson remains etched deep in our mind somewhere, constantly stopping us from taking that same step again that we had the foolishness of taking before. Vulnerability scares us, making us completely incapable of even thinking beyond what is the surface.
Let me share my experience , I spent a fair portion of my time with people thinking that things would change, if not that, at least circumstances would. But all that changed was excuses, excuses and excuses. Somehow, I blame myself too. I let my heart, outweigh what my brain showed me every time, I had a twisted sense of loyalty that kept me pushing back to them, thinking ‘Hey, I’m no perfect either but then one day, after all this time , it struck me ‘why not? I deserve people who actually want me around, even if it means being lonely for a while, I can take that!’. Yes, things were hard, VERY hard in the start, but then I realized another thing, I had spent too much time complaining and cribbing over my ex-bff’s , rather than opening my news and actually see in the actual bff’s , who were there. And them being ‘there’ was all that mattered.
Yeah, I’m flawed, some pretty MAJOR flaws, I must say. But, it was those flaws in me too, that drifted us apart. The good and the bad all come in a package, you really can’t segregate it, but it seems like to them my con’s outweighed my pro’s. Despite saying they forgave me, continuously reminding me of my flaws again and again and again, which only pointed towards one thing- they didn’t. The things about me that amused them, irritated them, and its my personal belief , that when a friendship reaches the point of ‘why should I? Did you? ‘ its better to walk away with your self- respect intact.
But then at the same time we have good memories to remember by how much fun we had at the same time as well. Yeah its bitter-sweet, but then again how far do we get a say in who hurts us? The truth is we just don’t, no matter how cautious we are, or how many precautions we take, we just don’t. And at the end of the day it’s only your and only your issue to deal with it, the same way we dealt it with our parents when we were teenagers,the same way we dealt with with our teachers when we scolded us, in short the same way we deal with things we don’t like any more, the only way is to cope and move forward, despite how depressing as it may sound.
There’s a reason why we as humans, choose to trust our cellphone more than people these days, because we know that , that one materialistic instrument is any day more trustworthy than they actual communication with a person in front of us.
We are too dependent, we might be connected just a ‘wassup’ away, but we all, at some point of time , do feel absolutely alone. And yes, fellas’ that is the sad reality of it. It isn’t easy, but its as they as ‘never a rose without a thorn’. The hope that someday things will change is not easy to let go either, because that’s the thing about ‘hope’ it breeds eternal misery. The best way is to stop hoping for things to change , is nothing but for hope for something better, something new, and something more refreshing, and keep looking out for it, and !make it happen. Things only become better when you make it happen, this is the real world people! Grow up! No fairy is going to come and sway her magic wand and make sh*t easier for you! Its you has to get you sh*t together!. Forgive the faults, yours and of those who didn’t live up to your expectations, its not worth it, forget the pain, the sadness, and yes the heartbreak, but always, ALWAYS, remember the lesson it taught us, because a life without risks, is not a life lived well.