FEELINGS.EMOTIONS.THOUGHTS

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There are times when you want someone by your side but no one is there to comfort you. There are times when you want to be left alone, cry out loud, run away and take a break. There are other times when you want to skip a plan, stay at home and there are times when your own sweet home is killing you from inside and you want to get some fresh air. And there are times you want to lock yourself in the four walls of your room.  In such circumstances, you have to deal alone. This is the reality of life. You first have to help yourself. You need to believe that no one can help you but yourself. Others can only make you feel lighter, advice you, influence you, and cheer you up. It depends on how you get through the problem. Sometimes, it is very challenging to stay strong. It is very easy to preach but when empathized, you fear to rub on the very same advices and suggestions.  Funny, isn’t it?

Life takes a turn when you least expect it to. It indeed is unpredictable. We believe that things will get better when you stop expecting. But not expecting is implausible because when you love someone, expectation is just another normal human behaviour. When you stop expecting, that person no longer holds that position in your life. Once gone, is gone forever.  Moment passed cannot be reversed, words once said cannot be taken back, actions once taken cannot be overturned, and people once dead cannot come back to life; no matter how much you miss, how much you cry. Death is inevitable and it is the most painful experience one can ever have. Just the mere presence of your loved one is enough to make you feel strong, confident and loved. In the absence of that same person, you feel hollow.

People who are very close to you tend to hurt you more. Unintentional actions can be forgiven but what about intentional ones? It can never be forgiven or forgotten. But sometimes life gives you a second chance. Ups and downs are inescapable but it makes you realize who your real friends are; more importantly who you really are. But if they affect you emotionally, then that would be the cue for the termination of your game. I guess in the end we have to move ahead as life is about moving on. Life goes on.

Some days are full of joy while some others are depressing, painful and tearing. One day might be special for someone and awful for another. A friend can be the reason for the smile on your face and the same friend can hurt you. In these moments you realize that life indeed is not a bed of roses. Strangely true.

It is strange how someone totally anonymous can come so close to you that they become your strength and weakness. At one point, you were strangers. And then before you know, you understand each other in and out. When you meet someone, life is full of ‘FIRSTS’.  The first cry, laugh, crawling, words of a baby, the first job, the first salary, the first promotion, the first kiss, the first date- all these are special and important moments. With love, comes the feeling of taking for granted and being taken for granted. We all are taken for granted by our loved ones and we take someone else for granted. Karma is a bitch. As you sow, so you reap. We keep asking ourselves why I am getting to experience such things. I didn’t do anything wrong! The answers shall come at the right time. Patience is a virtue. But till when do I wait? What if the answers take a lifetime? It is good that some questions remain unanswered; saves the remorse.

You know that no matter what you do, where you go, your loved one won’t leave you. But it still becomes very difficult to see them with someone else. It hurts. It pinches and stings you, shatters you, leaves you heartbroken. With love comes care, affection, trust and concern but it also brings in a pinch of jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity. You know they won’t go anywhere leaving you behind but there still is a fear of losing them, fear that someone else will take your place in their lives, fear that your love will fade. But love is also about freedom, space, compromise and understanding. If you are important to someone, they will never leave you. Your place will never be taken by someone else. But we aren’t unknown to the ache of rejection. You love someone and that person doesn’t love you back. You want that person but they don’t reciprocate. It is all about destiny. What has to happen, will. It is rightly said, what happens is for the good and for a reason. It is not always necessary to know the reason or the good behind what happened. Some things are better off, left unknown and unsaid. In the end, what you get is worth the wait.

What make something special are not what you to have gain but the feeling of what is there to lose. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Don’t count the days, make the days count. Not everything faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

Vera Nazarian, in her book The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration said, “A fine glass vase goes from treasure to trash, the moment it is broken. Fortunately, something else happens to you and me. Pick up your pieces. Then, help me gather mine.”

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